What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
