He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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