When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
