I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
