Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
