i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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