I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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