Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
