There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
