I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
