Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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