Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
