it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
