Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
