Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize