i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize