It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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