shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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