how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
