drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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