i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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