I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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