I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
