Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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