i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
