Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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