well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
