I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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