Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
