I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
