I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
