Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize