Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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