I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
