but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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