He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize