I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
