Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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