I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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