I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize