I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
