Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
