he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My pussy is not your playground.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
