i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
