Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
