no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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