I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
