I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
