Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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