I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
