apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize