Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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