bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
