i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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