Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
