when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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