I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
