i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
