Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
