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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want your puppy

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I meant pussy

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I would rather you take my puppy

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• (914): View more from New York

  so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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• (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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• (707): View more from California

  And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.

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• (916): View more from California

  You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?

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