Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
