My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
