True but thats because hes a fetus.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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