dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
