Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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