God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
