Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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