the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
