My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
