4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
