I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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