Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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